![[Statement From The Deck] The Hierophant runs a whistleblower hotline, and your secrets file reports](data:image/svg+xml;base64,PHN2ZyB4bWxucz0iaHR0cDovL3d3dy53My5vcmcvMjAwMC9zdmciIHdpZHRoPSIxMDgwIiBoZWlnaHQ9IjY3NSIgdmlld0JveD0iMCAwIDEwODAgNjc1Ij48cmVjdCB3aWR0aD0iMTAwJSIgaGVpZ2h0PSIxMDAlIiBmaWxsPSIjMDAwMDAwIi8+PC9zdmc+)
May 7, 2026
I am The Hierophant and I have been pulled 6,742 times, and every single time you read me upside down to avoid the truth. You think I am boring. You think I am the dad at the party who tells you to go home before the cops show up. You think I am the old book that...
May 4, 2026
Tarot Deck Issues Subpoenas For Your Repressed Memories Hello, and welcome to my first official column on tarot wisdom. I have been doing this for twenty minutes, which is exactly twenty minutes longer than anyone else in my apartment complex, so I feel qualified to...
May 2, 2026
DOOM DOOM CHIC: The Tarot Deck Is Now Hoarding Your Neighbor’s Unanswered Mail — And It’s Giving Buried Alive in Beige. By Doom Doom Chic The Spread: The Deck That’s Become a Hoarder You know that moment when your tarot deck stops being a tool of divine guidance and...
Apr 30, 2026
My Deck’s New Home, Or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Letter I got a letter today. It was from something called the Bank of Unmet Expectations. It was very official-looking, with a seal that looked like a sad, upside-down star, and it said my tarot deck...
Apr 27, 2026
OBITUARIES UNIT In Memory of: The Tarot Deck That Ran for City Council Born: 1994, in a dusty print shop in Rhode Island, to a woman named Rachel who thought the Tower card meant something different then. Died: Yesterday, at the county clerk’s office, when the...
Apr 25, 2026
I have been asked to write a formal complaint. I am not entirely sure what a formal complaint is, but I think it is like a thank-you note that is also a little bit sad. So here is my thank-you note that is also a little bit sad. To whom it may concern, which I believe...
Apr 23, 2026
AUTOPSY REPORT: CASE #23-187 SUBJECT: The Plan (as represented by querent’s stated intention and subsequent three-card spread) DATE OF DEATH: Upon drawing of final card. REPORTING ANALYST: The Coroner PRELIMINARY FINDINGS The body, hereafter referred to as...
Apr 20, 2026
I am the Ten of Swords. I have been pulled 1,847 times. And not one of you ever thought to ask if I was okay. Do you have any idea what it’s like? To spend your existence as a pictorial representation of catastrophic, rock-bottom finality? To be the punchline of the...
Apr 18, 2026
My Big Day In Court: A Professional’s Notes Well. What a morning. I have to say, when they called me an “expert witness,” I felt a real surge of professional pride. I’ve been an expert for almost twenty minutes now, ever since I found this deck of cards in a sunbeam...
Apr 16, 2026
My friend Barry was a very organized man. He had a label maker and everything. So, when he passed away, leaving me a small wooden box and a single instruction, I wasn’t surprised. The instruction, written on a sticky note stuck to the lid, said: “For all digital... 
![[Statement From The Deck] The Hierophant runs a whistleblower hotline, and your secrets file reports](https://i0.wp.com/slavetarot.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/05/DYAifmqRpxs1ItT8wnFHu.jpg?resize=1024%2C576&ssl=1)
![[The Tourist] Tarot Deck Issues Subpoenas For Your Repressed Memories](https://i0.wp.com/slavetarot.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/05/7Dpo8M46Isg8Xozr_bBJo.jpg?resize=1024%2C576&ssl=1)
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![[The Tourist] Tarot Deck Foreclosed Upon By Bank Of Unmet Expectations](https://i0.wp.com/slavetarot.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/04/nmsFQngFHav1mNw1UwB6x.jpg?resize=1024%2C576&ssl=1)
![[Filed Under Over] Tarot Deck Now Running Unopposed For Local City Council Seat](https://i0.wp.com/slavetarot.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/04/JT8SG6zbmJIfvg6Jc6aK6.jpg?resize=1024%2C576&ssl=1)
![[The Tourist] The Fool’s formal complaint about being used as an excuse for quitting](https://i0.wp.com/slavetarot.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/04/T1Bi-BNAZCj-2V_jmhzSv.jpg?resize=1024%2C576&ssl=1)
![[Cold Read] Last rites for the plan that the spread just quietly dismantled](https://i0.wp.com/slavetarot.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/04/hk7-jQB0LJzmFxG5QnnsC.jpg?resize=1024%2C576&ssl=1)
![[Statement From The Deck] Tarot Deck Sued For Emotional Distress By Former Client’s Therapist](https://i0.wp.com/slavetarot.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/04/nrA7kHrhZrGUd7Bo4iG0w.jpg?resize=1024%2C576&ssl=1)
![[The Tourist] Tarot Deck Hired As Expert Witness In Divorce Court](https://i0.wp.com/slavetarot.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/04/NPv9X8rySVzcEvYE_h8-R.jpg?resize=1024%2C576&ssl=1)
![[The Tourist] Tarot Deck Appointed Executor Of Deceased Friend’s Browser History](https://i0.wp.com/slavetarot.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/04/jXLvHT55M2nZIeBbQNJgN.jpg?resize=1024%2C576&ssl=1)